Voice of the World.

It had almost been half a year since Psychotic Girl last went to a park and although this was a different park, a park that was half way across the world to be exact, the conditions were almost the same. It was again raining so heavily that it was hard for Psychotic Girl to see more than an arm’s length in front of herself. She managed to find the swing and she sat down. The only difference Psychotic Girl could remember was that last time she had been to a park she had asked The Boy to give up the swing, however this time she was alone. The temperature half way across the world was also colder and the rain had soaked all the way through her clothes, she could feel the cold, cold rain on her skin. Even so, her body stubbornly refused to shiver against the cold, her skin was icily cold except for her feet which was always used to the weather for Psychotic Girl never wore shoes.

As Psychotic Girl sat down on the swing, she breathed out, ‘déjà vu.’

Not that there was anyone to hear her, but even if there was the rain was too loud for anyone to hear. No, she had simply said that to remember how it was last time she had been at a park. Her clothes draped down from the rain, her head was slightly bowed as she slowly began to swing. Her hair followed a second slower in motion than her head and as she gained momentum on the swing wet drops of rain flicked off the ends.

Psychotic Girl had wished that it had not been so similar to the last time she was at a park, she simply missed The Boy and at that moment in time, she felt more lonely than she ever had. It had been a long time since she could feel any emotions, in fact it had been so long since she had felt any emotions she could hardly remember how emotions felt. There were only two emotions she could identify and those were happy and sad. She categorised happy as good and sad as bad, but she had been thinking about The Boy so much that she could feel something else, loneliness. She could not categorise loneliness as good or bad, it made her feel happy thinking about The Boy, but it made her feel sad that she was so far away from him, it made her so sad that it hurt. It hurt differently than stepping on something sharp because after a while she would forget the hurt and her wound would heal, but this was different, this loneliness she could not forget and each time she remembered, it was as though she had picked at the wound and it could never heal.

Her chest hurt so much that she started rubbing it but the hurt would not disappear and she felt it was hard to breath. Before Psychotic Girl knew what happened she fell off the swing, this time The Boy was not there to save her. Her knees started bleeding; she lay on the ground, breathing slowly. Suddenly, Psychotic Girl could feel a different kind of wetness on her face, it was not from the rain; it was not the water from the sky, it was from her own eyes. She had not cried because of her knees but because of the hurt in her chest. She could not remember the last time water fell from her eyes, it had been too long.

Psychotic Girl stood up; the rain had washed away the blood from her knees, the tears from her eyes and her sad thoughts. She decided that loneliness was both good and bad. She had always liked the rain and as she looked up into the sky, she noticed the sky was a little clearer. This time as she walked out of the park it was her who walked away with her mind clearer than a clear sky.

-Atashi

Part One - http://atashibunny.tumblr.com/post/14257422216/psychotic-girl